Near and Far
by Miss Matched
Summary: Had she gone too far? Had she scared him now? He probably hated her. That was it. She'd always do something wrong. Always. She'd never done anything right. She didn't deserve him.
1. Default Chapter

An: Yes, please don't kill me. This is a new story, unrelated to my in progress ones, or the ones that I owe Momolove (who needs to kill me.) Just, hear me out, please? I need to tell my story... what's happened to me over the past few months. This'll be a one shot, and you'll probably forget that this was ever written as soon as you've finished. This... I guess it's just something I need. People are going to be OOC, and I apologize. I'll try not to, but things will happen, most likely. Feel free to flame.

  


Near and Far

  


by Miss Matched

  


"I... I'd like that too." The words slipped out fast, rolled off the tip of her tongue. What was she expecting to do? Fight? No, no, she'd always done that. Always fought for what she wanted. Not now, she couldn't do that now. She knew she didn't deserve happiness today.

"Are you sure?" Blessed Arnold, always trying to make sure that she was safe, that she would never be hurt. She looked into his eyes, trying to read a sign. But there was no indication of that old, gleaming spark... 

  


"I'm positive." Of course, Helga knew this was a lie. She despised it. Her own words left a bitter taste in her mouth as she tried to appear unattached to him. Arnold gave her one more concerned glance, then walked away. No more words were exchanged. In bitter cold numbness, she watched him stroll away, then vanish into the setting sun. Such an ironic picture. Such ironic beauty. Unfeeling, she turned on her heel and walked in the direction of her own house.

  


The evening air was frigid against her bare face and hands. She folded her jacket around her, trying to find some warmth in a cold world. She had plenty of money in her pocket, she knew. It only cost a few cents to ride the bus home. But the confrontation left her restless and confused, so she felt the need to move and consider. As she walked, her thoughts drifted to months and months back. The cold December evening around her became a rare, mild day in July. The sun which was setting was instead high in the sky. Replacing the night was noon.

  


_"Is it true?" She heard the black haired girl ask. Helga turned and walked away. The question wasn't directed at her, but at the boy a few feet ahead of her. She prayed that she wouldn't hear the answer. She didn't. "More proof that there's a God." She thought to herself._

  


_It was the summer after tenth grade, and rumors flew even more as the days grew ever hotter. Idle brains with nothing better to do would scan for the latest tidbit to pass along. Unfortunately, this rumor had to do with a certain football head and a well known bully._

_"It's so obvious, that it's actually funny!" Rhonda had exclaimed to her clique. "Helga, Arnold has a crush on you!" Several girls giggled, and another looked at Helga with a mixed glare of disappointment and disdain. _

__

_Helga arched an eyebrow, and leaned up against the brick wall of Sunset Arms. "I doubt it."_

__

_"Then let's see, shall we?" Rhonda announced, dashing up the stairs and ringing the doorbell. So, Helga ran. When it came to matters like this, she ran. Hearing would only seal what she knew was probably true. She'd fight later, when she had a plan... or maybe she'd just move to another country, she could change her name to Talulla and speak with an accent, then no one would ever chance to find out that it was she who loved Arnold, not Arnold who..._

  


_"Helga!" She turned around to hear her name being called. It was Arnold, huffing as he ran to catch up with her. "We need to talk."_

_"About..." she prodded, trying to keep the nervousness out of her voice. She looked down at the sidewalk, then to her feet._

__

_"About the rumors. I don't know how they got started..."_

__

_"I understand." She turned to go again._

  


_"But Helga?"_

  


_"There's more to be said?" She arched half of her unibrow in surprise._

  


_Arnold cleared his throat. "Um, where are we?"_

  


_Laughing sharply, Helga answered. "On a sidewalk, a few feet from your house."_

  


_"No, I mean... Do you like me as more than a friend?"_

  


_Helga paused. What was there to say? She nearly denied everything, that would be easiest... but she saw nothing but nervousness and sincerity in Arnold's deep green eyes. She took a deep breath. "Yes."_

  


_"And are you sure?"_

  


_Another pause. "Yes." She closed her eyes tightly. He didn't answer... so slowly she opened one eye, and then the other, and looked into his bright, smiling face. His countenance said more than words could. He took her hand, and she smiled back. That was enough. That was all they needed._

  


_ ______________________________________

  


  


_"Those look pretty painful."_

__

_"Heh. They are."_

  


_"But you... you look... wow!"_

  


_"You don't look too bad yourself, bucko." Helga quipped, dropping her flowing pink dress to the floor. Arnold had just witnessed the horrors of women's footwear. He glanced to the door of the high school. It was a chilly October evening, and Helga obviously wasn't dressed for a night of star gazing, her in that sleeveless dress. _

  


_"So, let's go in." Arnold suggested, beckoning to the glass door of the High School with a rather large "Welcome to the Jungle... 2002 Homecoming" banner across it. With a broad smile, Arnold stuck out his arm._

  


_She raised a half of an eyebrow at his arm sticking out so awkwardly, then hooked her own arm around it. "Lets."_

  


_Their school wasn't known for the best decorations... actually, the year before, decorations consisted of one streamer, just so they could claim that their was some. A handful of strobe lights were placed at the front of the gymnasium turned dance floor, painting the ceiling and walls with their hypnotic colors. Music blared loudly, some hard rock like tune._

  


_Arnold stifled a laugh, "I don't know if you know this... but I can't dance."_

  


_"Join the club." Helga quipped, scratching the back of her neck with nervousness. They chose not to move, just observe. Ahead of them, Helga spotted Phoebe and Gerald. She shook her head... Phoebe was such a pushover! Her and Gerald had broken up about a half year ago, but decided to be friends with benefits. It sickened Helga to think of poor Phoebe still holding any hope out for that boy, who was lusting after her body alone. Arnold must have sensed her tensing up, because he put his arm around her. The music changed swiftly into a slow tune._

  


_"Um, should we dance?" Arnold asked, nervously._

__

_Helga giggled slightly, something she didn't do normally. "Yeah." She placed her arms around his neck, and clasped her hands at the back while he put his hands around her waist. They were at arms length, and it was relatively uncomfortable. Slowly, Helga let go and stepped in closer to her partner. Her arms circled his shoulders, and she placed her head by his neck. Arnold bent in to whisper into her ear._

  


_"I love you."_

  


_ _______________________________

  


_"And that's why lemon pudding is my favorite pudding!" Stinky finished with a flourish as he walked inside the school, flanked by Sid, Harold, Arnold and Helga._

  


_"You've told us this story every day since preschool." Arnold stated, holding the door open, "Doesn't it ever get old?"  
_

_"Naw, on account of it's my favorite story!" It was after lunch period, and the group had just come back from eating outside in the slightly nippy November air. Helga looked around for a glimpse of Phoebe. Maybe she'd come over here and talk to her. She could always leave and find Phoebe, but that would mean leaving Arnold's side. She didn't want to do that, no, not at all. Besides, she needed to be there to make sure Arnold was in line if Lila or some other girl came over to talk to him. It wasn't that he flirted with them... well, it wasn't that he ment to. It just seemed that way... yeah, that was it. She was being overprotective again... it was just... oh gosh, she didn't deserve him. Not at all. Why was she thinking of leaving his side in the first place?_

  


_"You've got that look again." Arnold whispered, poking her in the cheek. "Smile!"_

  


_Helga sighed. "I'm sorry... it's just..." She gave him a hug. "I love you so much." She pursed her lips as she hugged him. Had she gone too far? Had she scared him now? He probably hated her. That was it. She'd always do something wrong. Always. She'd never done anything right. She didn't deserve Arnold. She let go of him, her hand tracing down his arm, then back to her side. He looked back at her, an odd expression on his face. He said nothing. Now that she thought of it, he rarlely opened up to her... unless it was something about Lila. The only times she'd ever heard him curse... over Lila. Sure, it was all about how it was pathedic of her to think that he'd love her... and how persestant she was. Still, she was jelous. Helga wished she could evoke such a strong reaction from him, sure, the opposite of dislike, but Lila was a definate. It bothered her sometimes... Arnold had never told her why he loved her. Never. _

  


_Finally, an answer. "I love you, too." Then a distraction. "And there's Gerald and Phoebe again." Helga growled under her breath._

_"I'm not looking over." She mumbled, "I can just as much guess."_

__

_Arnold sighed, "No matter how much I tell him to just make his mind up over Phoebe, he doesn't listen. He insists that he doesn't love her anymore... but how can you even think of condoning this?" Helga assumed he guestured to them, but she still refused to watch._

  


_"Tell me when they're quite done. Me and Pheebs need to have a girl talk."_

  


________________________________

  


_"... in the bathroom?" Phoebe asked, gazing at the porclean all around. "Helga, this seems juvinal!"_

__

_"It's a better use for the bathroom than the chicks who smoke in here." She retorted. "Now, Pheebs, spill."_

  


_"I haven't a clue what you're incinuating..."_

  


_"We're the only two in here. Now, then. You and Gerald. Any new developments."_

  


_Phoebe sighed, and turned away. "Last night, he was over to my house.... he told me I was beautiful... we just sat there, in each other's arms... all night..." She turned around in sudden anger, "I don't believe him, Helga! He says he doesn't care about me! He says that we'll never go out again! He says we'll never get married like he'd told me that we would! He says that he prays to God that he won't end up with me. But, Helga! He's so... He doesn't act like that. It's empty, Helga. Trust me. Please."_

__

_"And watch him USE you?"_

  


_"If that's what it takes for him to come to his sences, then yes."_

  


_"Criminy!" Helga exclamed, grabbing Phoebe by the shoulders and shaking her "Get a spine! Sure, Geraldo may just be flapping his gums, but that doesn't give him a permit to walk all over you. Phoebe, what if he does love you? What kind of love is this? Make him leave you alone. Let's see if that evokes anything in him."_

  


_Phoebe thought about this for a moment. "That will be something I'll need to think about. Perhaps I'll do that." She walked out the door, then paused, holding the door open. "And Helga?"_

  


_"Hmm?"_

  


_"Thank you." _

________________________________

  


__

  


_"So you talked to Phoebe?"_

  


_Helga nodded. "I think I might have gotten through to her. She's so smart... but when it comes to Gerald..."_

  


_Arnold laughed, "Yeah, I guess. Well, everyone has their downfall."_

__

_"Agreed." Helga asserted. Just then, all the lights in the school went out. A cackling could be heard. "Oh great, Curly's at it again. Twisted little freak."_

__

_Arnold sighed, "I guess I should go see what's the matter."_

  


_"I suppose..." Next thing she felt was an arm around her shoulder. _

  


_"Maybe not today. Come on, walk with me!" His voice was filled with such an innocent joy as he lead her around the dark hallways of the school. His hand traced down her arm shyly, then grasped her hand. "Helga... I--" Just then the lights came back on. He kissed her on the cheek, his face a deep crimson. She could feel her own face blossom with a fresh blush as the final bell rang. The school day was ending, but her hopes... well, they'd raised. _

________________________________

  


  


_AN:** I can't help it!... must post.... the rest will be up tomorrow, kiddies.**_

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	2. Part 2

An: Here's the end... And in case you haven't guessed, in real life, I was Helga. Hope you won't be disapointed...

  


~Miss Matched

  


  


Near and Far

  


by Miss Matched

  


_"Helga?" Phoebe asked once she had let her best friend in. Something was wrong, she could sense it. Helga never came over any more, always so busy with Ice Cream. Phoebe didn't want to mention anything about that to her though, could be too messy. She ushered Helga into the kitchen, and began to fix her a warm cup of cocoa. It was too cold a day in November for anyone to be out walking. Helga took a seat._

__

  


_"No more beating around the bush!" Phoebe announced, placing the steaming cup of hot chocolate in front of Helga. "What's the matter?"_

__

_Helga grasped the warm mug with both of her bare hands greedily. She sipped in the warm liquid. "It's nothing. It's probably just me looking too into things..."_

  


_Phoebe took a seat. "I'll maim him."_

  


_"No, no, Arnold's wonderful... I love him so much!"_

  


_"That was never in question." She scooted her chair closer to Helga, "Come on... I can't bare to see you in such a state!"_

  


_Helga folded her arms on the fine oak table, then placed her head in them. "Well... I was sitting next to him today... We watched the sunset. It was so beautiful... I looked back over at him while we sat on that bench and saw the last rays disapear into the inky black darkness..." A few tears escaped down her proud face. "And even though I was sitting right next to him, he was a million miles away. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but it was like... he was so far away from me, even though he was right there next to me. Like maybe, just maybe he doesn't love me any more." She shook her head, "Near and far... ironic, isn't it?"_

  


_Phoebe looked thoughtful for a moment, then spoke. "And you feel this... why?"_

  


_"Because I don't deserve him." Helga muttered, "I only bring him down." She brought her head up from the table. "I mean, he's so perfect and pure, and he loves everyone. I just don't understand that." Sharply laughing, she continued. "I'm too dependent, I'm stifling his innocent spirit. I crowd him. I suffocate him..."_

  


_"And you've talked to him about this?"_

  


_Helga sighed, grasping the mug again. She focused in on a chip on it's otherwise spotless enamled surface. "No, no... that'd be something more for me to burden him with." She downed the rest of the hot chocolate, then slammed the cup down onto the table. "CRIMINY! Love isn't supposed to be this hard!"_

  


_Phoebe wanted to console her dear friend, but realized there was nothing she could say. She knew nothing of love... only of... well, what was one to call her and Gerald's relationship anyway? Give and take, she mused, her giving and him taking. Instead of saying anything, she just hugged Helga until the hot angry tears dried from her face._

  


_"Trust your heart, Helga." She added as soon as Helga calmed down. "Your head knows the facts, but it's the heart behind the truth that matters. Maybe you can get things sorted out? Or maybe you really are looking too hard into this situation."_

  


_Helga nodded stiffly, getting up. Wordlessly, she placed her mug into the sink, and then began to walk out of the house._

  


_"Wait! My mom can give you a ride!"_

  


_Opening the door, Helga shot Phoebe a half smile. "A good walk can clear the heart and head." She advised, then slipped out into the night._

________________________________

  


_Helga woke up the next morning with Mirium hanging over her, telephone in hand. "Um... honey?"_

__

_She flipped and held the covers tighter to her, "What could you possibly want at this **ungodly** hour?"_

__

_"It's one in the afternoon..." Mirium mumbled, sipping from a half empty smoothy as she spoke. Since Mirium drank a smoothy an hour, Helga guessed it was more like one thirty. "Oh, yeah, and Alfred's on the phone." This woke Helga up. Arnold never called her. Quickly, she snatched the phone out of her mother's hand. _

  


_"Hello?"_

  


_"Helga..." Was it just her, or did Arnold sound nervous? "How would you like to go on a walk with me? In, say... a few hours?"_

  


_"A good walk to clear the head and heart..." She reminded herself, then out loud "Sure, how about five?"_

  


_"It'll take you that long to get ready?"_

  


_"Hey, I'm a girl, and I just woke up. Give me a break, sheesh!"_

  


_Arnold laughed a bit, "Well, I suppose I'll see you then..."_

  


_"Bye." Helga whispered, "I love you."_

__

_"Bye." And then he hung up._

________________________________

  


_He motioned to her to sit down next to him on the pier, overlooking the calm waters. "Helga... I don't know how to say this..."_

  


_"Just try." She whispered nervously. Their walk to this place had been in a still, thick silence. "Trust me, I'll be able to understand." _

  


_He looked up to the sky, in thought. "Helga, what do you want to be when you grow up?"_

  


_Looking down at her hands, she answered. "A physiologist, I think. I don't know, only time can tell."_

  


_"Well... I was thinking... Where we are right now in our lives, we can't really be in a relationship. It might hinder us in the future. Do you understand?"_

  


_Helga clinched her fists and looked down into the water, blinking back tears. What kind of explanation was that? Probably just one that he could justify and understand. "Yes." She lied, standing up. Arnold too stood._

  


_"Um, if we were just friends, would that be all right with you? Because, I think I'd like that."_

  


________________________________

  


She'd ran inside the house, head tucked down. She didn't even bother to close the door, and the cold evening air poured into the Pataki household.

  


"Hey hey hey! You'd better close that door, little missy!" Bob shouted from his spot in front of the TV. Helga ignored him and ran upstairs to her room, slamming the door behind her. 

  


Once in her room, those pent in tears fell down like rain. With a bang, she turned her home comming pictures over on her desk, then she fell onto her bed. Heart wrenching sobs were muffled by a thick white pillow for hours as she let the tears heal her wounds. Maybe one day they'd both be ready. Maybe one day they'd be together again, when she could sort out her own emotions and tendencies. She parted her dry lips and uttered a phrase of comfort.

  


"Here's to someday." she whispered before she fell to sleep. "Someday..."


	3. Part 3

  


Near and Far

Epilogue

  


"I still can't believe she did that."

  


"It's sad, really. Can't believe she snapped like that."

  


Arnold shook his head. "Can't say that I didn't see it coming though."

  


"So she grabbed his hair?"

  


"And wouldn't stop pulling." Arnold affirmed. "Death grip, that girl has."

  


Helga laughed, "So how exactly did you get Lila's paws out of Stinky's hair?"

  


"I think I clawed her." He admitted. "And then she cussed at me. I kinda feel bad for her, I hear her home life isn't too good right now, and she's pretty much been near the breaking point."

  


Helga shook her head. In the weeks of healing, she'd put her anger for Lila aside. Now she only felt pity. 

  


"But I was thinking," Arnold continued as he walked home. It was a mild December day, and all traces of snow had melted away with the morning sun. "There's only one girl that I wouldn't mind yanking my hair."

  


Helga laughed, pulling her coat around her a bit tighter. "And that would be..."

  


"You." He answered.

  


"I'll make sure you live to regret saying that Arnoldo. I'll tear all your hair out, and you'll be the baldest football head that ever lived." She snickered. "And whenever you kneel down, people'll mistake your head for a ball, and they'll punt and..." She reached up and yanked on his hair. "And you'll regret trusting me!"

  


"Whatever you say Helga." He laughed, puffs of cold air let loose from his mouth. Helga watched as they expanded and floated away with an amused expression on her face. She looked across the street. Phoebe was there, arm up, looking at her watch.

  


"Later, Arnold." Helga said, patting him on the back.

  


"Huh? Oh. Later." He called back as she crossed the street. 

  


Phoebe blinked and looked up from her watch as Helga stood in front of her. 

"Waiting for someone?" Helga asked, looking at Phoebe's purple watch.

  


Phoebe nodded. "Yes, Gerald in fact." She noted Helga's disturbed look, "No, no, it's not what you think. We're going to talk. Well, I'll do most of the talking."

  


"Way to take the initiative!" Helga smiled. "I guess I'll be going, then."

  


"Wait!" Phoebe called as Helga turned to go, "There's one thing I need to know...."

  


"Shoot."

  


"How's it like to be back to normal?

  


Helga scoffed, "It's gettin' there, Pheebs." She looked back at Arnold, "But some things... well, I don't like normality on some things. Got that?"

  


"Noting!"

  


"'Atta girl." With a laugh, Helga turned to walk home. Maybe she'd found her in between... for now at least. Maybe right here was her destiny. Not too near, and not too far away.


End file.
